What the Hell is going on with my teen?

Normal teen behavior typically involves mood swings, seeking independence, experimenting with new styles and hobbies, being influenced by peers, and some level of risk-taking. These behaviors are part of the natural process of growing up and exploring one’s identity. 

In contrast, extreme teen behavior includes severe mood swings or prolonged depression, extreme isolation, substance abuse, self-harm or suicidal thoughts, aggression or violence, and risky sexual behavior. These actions go beyond typical developmental exploration and often indicate underlying issues that require attention from mental health professionals and support systems. If your teen is demonstrating any of these risky or dangerous behaviors, please seek help from a mental health professional or facility immediately.

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However, if you’re child is being treated by a mental health professional and you are wondering what you can do to help yourself and your family better navigate your current situation, you’ve come to the right place.

Let me first commend you that you are here. It means you are still trying and looking for answers. Some parents would have given up by now. Our kids are hard! They have BIG emotions and extreme behaviors that cause us to get sucked into a vicious cycle of unhealthy interactions. 

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Neither your teen nor you want to be in this situation; however, here you both are. This is not your fault, you didn’t cause it, but now you are part of the vicious cycle and you can learn skills that can de-escalate intense situations so that you can be more effective with your child. You can also learn ways to better take care of yourself and observe your limits so that you can find a greater sense of peace and satisfaction in your life, despite what your teen may be doing. 

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The skills I am referring to are based on Marsha Linehan’s Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). They are simple to understand, but not always easy to use. It is beneficial to practice the skills with friends or family before trying them with your teen. If you are interested in more information on DBT skills or learning and practicing them with other parents in your situation, join an upcoming Middle Path Parenting group.